Saterday I get to drive to augusta to visit Jimmy.
Yesterday for the first time in a week I saw sunshine.
My room is clean.
Yesterday, the cutest, sweetest boy kissed me.
Today, my class was canceled.
A lot of shit is due later, but right now, life is amazing.

So much has happened since I came here.
I've been doing alright in classes, and everyone here is awesome.
Still, I feel so horrible right now, Jimmy was put away in an asylum last weekend and I had to talk him down. It was so hard, I miss and love him so much. I can't visit him but im writing letters everyday and sending him pictures of my friends. I cry every time I think about him in there. Jimmy and I have always been close, sometimes more than others but still. I miss him.
I just can't make myself be happy.
Theres this boy I met and the other day we talked for three hours outside near the field and I like him so much, he sat and listened to me and my stupid problems, and he talked to me about all the stuff hes going through. The group had movie night and he held me and we cuddled intimately for hours. We are suppose to meet up tonight to look at the stars, but honestly  I don't think its going to happen, we rarely talked this week cause he was busy, and he probably just sees me as a close friend. Hes way out of my league. I'm focusing on him so much so I can try to hold myself together about Jimmy, but then that just leads to dissapointment.
Maybe I'm just being over emotional about everything.

In one hour I will be in Athens costume shopping with Sam and Jason.
In four hours I will be getting dressed up as Nell.
At midnight I will be attending Rocky Horror picture show.
At three in the morning I will be eating half off at Denny's.
At four in the morning I will be passed out on Sam.
In two more days I will be moving into my dorm.
In four more days I will be attending my first college class.

excitment.fear.anticipation.

I am so ready for the future.

Yesterday Lauren Rice called me on my cell phone. Mom went over to kelly's and I guess Lauren was wondering why I didn't come too. She left me the most adorable voicemail,

"Marwy, awre you comming? Awre you coming Marwy? I wuv you marwy, marwy, I wuv you"

and then you hear kelly in the background going, "Lauren give me the phone."

She is so cute.

I am so ready to leave. I'm ready to start college, and join a yoga class. I need a stress outlet.

four more days and I'll be working on my degree.

 

And then I'll be at north georgia living in a closet with rachel, worrying about papers, and meeting college boys ;]

But in the meantime I've been spending time with my new nephew, he is so cute. And not to mention my niece who has become my best pal. Jimmy and I are going to the art museum to see a exhibit tomorrow and then the next day I'm hanging out with this guy who wants to date me but I turned him down cause I'm moving soon (he is being super persistent and its driving me nuts).

So I guess I've been busy busy.

Today I went to get hair cement for my fauxhawk, and I ran into Sam at target. I saw her last week (aka five days ago) but it still felt like agggeeesssssss. I don't know what I'm going to do with out her when I don't see her for months. But my dorms has a policies where girl visitors can come and spend the night so she will be doing that A LOT. For a 'I'm going to miss you gift' I painted a picture of the yeah yeah yeahs who are currently our second favorite band and I did the background the same color as her walls in her room so it like blends in, and then on the back I wrote this super long letter to her. Brayson got jealous cause he thinks she's cheating on him with me and it was funny, but then he was all like 'your lucky I like mary or I would be pissed' XD.

*sighs* I'm going to miss them sooooo friggin much.

I lost over ten pounds in a very short time. My doctor said it was from both the loss of inflamation in my joints and the fact that my blood thinners thin my blood out to were its kind of like losing blood and water weight.
If I lose anymore I need to contact her immediatly. I feel really sick recently, my back and wrists hurt constantly. She said that its just part of having lupus and other than the medication I'm on there isn't much I can do. North Georgia offers a yoga class and she told me to take it if I can because working out and stretching some of the joints may make it feel better. I'm guessing she would rather me do that and swimming then anything else because if I do to much I get really sick.

On another note I have a date tomorrow. One of Gao's friends had been trying to ask me out so I agreed. I don't really like him like him but hes really sweet and its more of a hangout before I go to college kind of thing. He texted my earlier and said we were going cannoeing.

Oh and me and Sam hung out in travis' and brayson's rooms the other day and it was weird. But I now consider Brayson a friend and I'm not sure about travis.

see the thing is ever since I moved here I've kind of had a crush on him, but hes always just completely ignored me, which is what he did the other day.  However, I went to get him on a different day and his car was there but her didn't answer the door, so i took out some chopsticks and wrote on them "Mary was here where were you" and stuck them in his windowsheild. Later that day I saw him, but he didn't say anything. I would like to note they were gone from his car, but when I went in his house I didn't seem them laying around and I had to through away a can, and his trashcan was empty. WHAT DID HE DO WITH THEM?!?!?!?!?

In my life right now, this song says everything.
I'm ready for college, but I'm sad to leave the people I've just met, and those that I've known.
My family is finally starting to come together, and I feel like I truely love them for everything.
I met people at college already who I hope to know better.
God, I hope I find happiness.
Its really like a whole new chapter is happening, I'm leaving everyone behind.
I'm going to be on my own.
After I get through this, I may not even stay in georgia.
I may move out west, maybe even fall in love.
But for now I just need to find out who I am, and make sure everyone I love knows that no matter what happens or no matter were I go, I'll never forget them.
But most importantly I have to remember that I'm doing all of this for me,
no one else,
just me.

its all crazy curly, but somehow not frizzy at all....



its like a boy cut with a little bit longer bangs, and it covers my neck a little.....

For the first time in my life I cut my hair.
Its really short and messy.
Sam did it with a razor, and she bought me some hair putty.
My dad doesn't like it, but for me this is like independance.
It took me about two minutes into the movies to ask her if she would cut it, I mean, it seriously wasn't even premeditated. And the whole time I was cheering her on for more.
I thought maybe the next day when I woke up (now) I wouldn't like it. But I do, its different, I mean its not a big deal because my hair grows really fast and will grow back out.
Who cares if people don't like, its not like I'm even pretty to start with.
But yeah, I feel awesome, and ready for a hot summer.

So I already updated but I feel like updating again, because I'm bored XD.

So starting last wednesday I have been partying nonstop until yesterday. I met a bunch of people from college and out of state at one party, and got to say goodbye to lots of people at others. At one party this guy I was talking to was like, 'I'm going to sound like a douche, but can I get your number?" and being me I gave it to him. His name is Matt and he's freakin hillarious. Then this other guy drove me home in his super cool vintage beatle and he had dreads which is amazing. His name is Jonathan and by the next morning he added me on myspace.

I've gotten this golden tan which is weird cause I really haven't been outside that much, but then again I'm not really complaining cause I get to brag to Megan. Amanda, Megan, and I have had some crazy adventures these past couple of days as well.

Also, I got a thousand dollar laptop for graduation and it is SUPER FLY :DDDDDDDD. Plus a lot of other shit for college.

So far this summer has been AMAZING.